By Molly Scioli, written with Isabel Murphy
On August 22, 2015, I received the news that my younger sister, Catherine Nix (Cath, and sometimes “Nix”) had fallen off a mountain and died. She was 27 years old.
At the time, I was nine months pregnant with my fourth child. I was about to bring a life into the world, and I was preparing myself for that tremendous change. But I had no idea just how much the Universe had in store for me.
My three children tell me that I fell to the floor when I got the news. That image of me is seared in their memories. They bring up that night sometimes to total strangers, explaining that their aunt fell off a mountain and died, and that their mom fell on the floor and cried, “No, no, no,” a thousand times. At first, I couldn’t let myself believe the truth of what I had been told.
I had a lot to learn.
We have all searched for meaning in the wake of Cath’s death. Someone I spoke with about it explained to me that when people are going to pass they, “Don’t know, but they know.” They might do or say things that are almost like clues.
Looking back, I believe strongly that this is true. Cath had spent the year before her death tagging photographs of her adventures in the Tetons with #victorylap. She lived in Jackson Hole and taught at a residential school and treatment facility for disabled and emotionally disturbed youth. In true Cath spirit, it challenged her, but she loved it. She planned to get her PhD in child psychology at a school in New York so she could return to the Teton Valley to continue trying to heal young people in need.
Before she returned to our home state of NY for school, Cath wanted to keep a count of her adventures in the mountains. Cath’s brave and amazing friend Liz described the hashtag #victorylap as “a way for Cath to commemorate a bucket list. To see for the first time — or to see again — beautiful places in the Teton Valley, or a reason for her to accomplish unbelievable physical feats, like summiting the highest peak in Wyoming or biking Togwottee Pass. A way for her to celebrate her final months in the place she so loved.”
After Cath died, one of her friends and roommates in Jackson, Leslie, told me this story: “It was the beginning of August. I came home and was excited to see her car in the driveway, but when I went inside she wasn’t there. So I texted her to see when she’d be home. She said she was outside. I found her relaxing on the side of the house — a peculiar spot — in a green lounge chair from the garage, drinking a beer. It was a beautiful afternoon and we sat there talking about that day’s adventure, and laughing and reminiscing about things I can’t remember now. It was at this moment that I recognized an overwhelming sense of peace and joy in Nix. While Nix always exuded happiness — this was different. I remember thinking to myself: that a girl Nix, you can now move on to your next adventure knowing you fulfilled all of your Jackson dreams. All summer she was sad about leaving, but at this moment I feel as though she was ready. She was truly down to the core happy.”
Cath was happy because she had worked her way through her Jackson bucket list. After a summer of constant motion, she had claimed her victory lap.
It’s as if Cath set us up for the next steps. After she passed, #victorylap changed to #forevervictorylap. Liz used it on her Instagram account as an ode to all of the adventures that Cath had been on that summer and it has since turned into the inspiration for the nonprofit Forever Victory Lap.
Our goal is to continue Cath’s plan to help the children of the Teton Valley — and beyond. As Forever Victory Lap became a reality, we chose the Teton Valley Ranch Camp as the initial beneficiary of the funds that we raised. It was an easy and natural decision for us. After all, TVRC was the reason that originally brought Cath to Wyoming, and it was a place that she loved. During her time there, not only did she solidify her love of adventure and for the outdoors, she made life-long friendships with some of the most incredible people that you could ever wish to meet. In the wake of her death, we received such an immeasurable amount of support from the TVRC community, and they continue to rally behind us to this day. It was a no brainer for us to partner with them and their TVRC Education Foundation.
The mission of the TVRC Education Foundation is to provide educational excellence in summer camp programming; excellence that fosters responsibility, honesty, integrity, cooperation, conservation values and creative problem-solving among the entire camp community, in an enriching, safe, western environment. Ideals that we know Cath was proud to live by. As we continue to grow, we look forward to branching out to other Teton Valley non-profits and learning how they support children and function in a spirit that would appeal to Cath. For more information on the TVRC Education Foundation, visit their website.
Forever Victory Lap is Cath’s legacy. It is about empowering children, and adults, to set goals and claim personal victories over their perceived physical or mental blocks. It is about doing something that you think you can’t do. Doing something that scares you. Or just doing something that you never thought you could do. Because, as Cath’s too-short life showed us, we don’t have time to waste.
We should all explore and adventure out into this beautiful world, feeling our own power and gaining unmeasured confidence. Just like Cath did.
